Continuing to Find Balance

23 minutes ago

4 min read

In work and in life...Ailsa update.

It's been a minute since I've posted here and honestly, I can't believe it's already nearly Halloween! It hit me when I was working on a cardboard Halloween window display with the kids that I had not been doing my usual posts here.

Over the Garden Wall Characters painted on cardboard by Ailsa & the kids

I've learned a lot in the past 13 years that I've been with Border7, and a big lesson I've learned, (and continue to do my best to practice), is knowing when to take a step back.

I've still been designing and building websites, but I've also been working as a baker at a local bakery, and of course, continue to be mom to two amazing kids who are under the age of four.

And honestly? It has been exactly what I needed.

Getting out from behind the computer

After losing my mom to an aggressive cancer just two weeks before I gave birth to my second child, I realized I needed something to change.

My mom passing was a massive loss on its own, but the years leading up to it had also been incredibly isolating. Because she was immunocompromised, our family had to be much more careful about exposure and being around other people. There were a lot of things we simply couldn't do without worrying about her safety.

I understood why we were doing it, but that doesn't mean it wasn't hard.

Between having my kids, losing my mom, getting married during a pandemic, buying a house, and braving Snowmageddon, the Line Fire, and the frequent power outages we face here on the mountain, I don't think I ever really took the time to slow down, ground myself, and reconnect with the place I live.

I was spending so much time behind a computer.

And I love what I do. I genuinely do. But, I started to realize that I also wanted to be a part of my community in a different way.

I wanted to see people, get out of the house, do something with my hands.

And, perhaps most importantly, I wanted to reconnect with something I had loved long before websites and business strategy, baking.

So, I got a job at a local bakery, LuluBelle's Coffee House & Bakery, where I bake and decorate cookie cakes and it has been amazing.

The new version of me

In my off time, I'm doing my best to ride regularly, remember to water the plants, and still make time to enjoy my books and crafts.

But, then there's still the house tasks like laundry, sanding and prepping the deck for the upcoming season, bills, appointments, and approximately one million other little things that seem to appear out of nowhere.

And sometimes, I'm just so tired. It's really tough being a parent.

I love it. But it is tough.

I think transitioning into motherhood has been particularly challenging for me because I've realized that I'll never go back to the old me. There is no previous save to return to because we've updated the game.

Having my kids has completely changed me.

That's more than okay, and I'm figuring out the new me. But I think it's important to take some time to recognize that the old you is gone and life as a parent is different.

And different requires different things from you.

Balance isn't a finish line

For a long time, I think I thought of balance as something you could eventually achieve.

You figure out the right schedule, get your business running smoothly, your house organized, find a good routine with your kids and partner, and also make time for your hobbies.

And then, congratulations, you've achieved balance!

But I'm realizing that's not really how it works. Instead, balance is something you have to keep working on, because what worked six months ago might not work today.

What I needed before I had kids isn't necessarily what I need now.

What my family needs changes, and what I need changes.

Sometimes work needs more of me, my kids need more of me, my husband needs more of me, or the house needs attention (why is there always a never ending list of tasks!)

And sometimes, I need something for myself.

That doesn't mean I'm doing balance wrong.

It means I'm paying attention, so I don't get burnt out again.

I think that's one of the biggest lessons I've taken away from the last few years: balance isn't about dividing every part of your life into perfectly equal pieces.

It's about noticing when something is out of alignment and being willing to make a change.

Sometimes that change is saying no, stepping away from the computer, going for a horseback ride, taking an afternoon to make something just because you enjoy making it.

And sometimes, it's getting a part-time job at a bakery because you really, really missed baking and love getting to work with some truly incredible people.