Hollywood Rapes My Childhood
January 15th, 2009 by @kamylynnI’ve been in a love hate relationship with Hollywood these past few months. There have been a few movies that have made me fairly happy. But based on some news I’ve read the past few weeks, I’ve decided that Hollywood is going a little too far with their continued rape of my childhood.
Let me explain, Hollywood has become a lackluster town unable to create new stories. They’ve resorted to remakes or movie versions of Childhood heroes.
For Example:
Generation One: Optimus Prime
2007 Live Action Optimus Prime
I had my doubts about this movie. As you all know, I’m a HUGE fan of the Transformers. Luckily, the movie wasn’t that bad and didn’t disgrace the original cartoon. BUUUUUUUT have you seen the cartoon recently?
2008 Animated Cartoon Optimus Prime
See! What is this? Can you believe that? I barely can understand what is going on? Did the animators become lazy and don’t know how to draw corners? Why is he all round? What’s worse is that he’s pretty panzy in the cartoon. Don’t do that to my childhood hero. Come on now Hollywood.
There was also the Speedracer movie.
Seizures
That’s all I can say about that.
They’re also making a G.I. Joe movie. If they mess that movie up. I’ll cry. I’ll cry hard.
Don’t get me started on the new Indiana Jones movie. I can just let South Park explain how that franchise was ruined. And to think I use to want to be an Archeologist once, not a freaking Alien fanatic doofus.
And did you even realize that they’re making a LIVE ACTION Dragon Ball Z movie? WITH WHITE PEOPLE? I lived in Japan people. I watched this cartoon in Japanese as a child. And here it is, in my adulthood…I’m dying on the inside a little.
And I know this wasn’t during my childhood. But M. Night Shamaylyan is going to ruin the American Anime known as Avatar. Also filled with a White cast. (Just so you know, this is only an issue because, as an Asian, it saddens me that when there are roles meant for an Asian to shine, its given away…)
There are also rumors of Akira being made into a live action movie. Oh man, how is that even possible? The amount of gore? It’s going to be turned into Speedracer all over again, I’m sure. Special Effects all over the place. *Glares at Hollywood*
That finally brings me to the reason for this post. Karate Kid. There’s going to be a remake. Starring Jackie Chan as Mr. Miyagi.
Nothing is sacred…
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January 15th, 2009 at 6:56 pm
1) Dragon Ball looks awful
2) I’m afraid of what M Knight will do to Avatar
3) I really liked Speedracer (hate me if you must)
and to answer your question on what happened to Optimus Prime…
Anime happened. That’s why he doesn’t have corners. Anime is an easy to produce animation style, and Americans are eating it up so they try to make everything like Anime. And, remember the first rule of Anime; Only hair has corners.
April 18th, 2009 at 10:51 am
It gets worse….
They’re supposed to be doing a live action Starship Yamato (starblazers), and Cowboy Bebop as well. If you want to cry for a while go to imdb and look at the casting *sigh*
It seems that the trend in animation is to hire a generation of people who have done flash animation as opposed to actual animation (auto correcting/connecting lines etc..) so that everything looks like Penny Arcade. All the new kids shows have that look it’s super fast and easy to crank out and it’s not like their target audience is going to complain about it. It’s like our generation watching GI Joe we loved it but we had to see some anime and say,..”Hey why is this so much better? is there more like it?” etc.. etc..)
I just watched the much accliamed “dead space” anime prequel to the game and it looks like it was cranked out over the weekend by funimation. And yet people rave….?
Not that it takes the flashiest visuals make the best show. Dr. WHO survived on shoestring budgets with horrible visuals because they had great stories and actors, and many cartoons manage to do the same, but there is MUCH more pervasive “Path of least resistance” trend in animation. There will be fewer and fewer cartoons that will survive the span of a generation let alone make it to the next one. I saw the transformers the animated series and it just hurt to watch. It’s like transformers dumbed down….it was what duplo is to legos.
But then we have the other horrible decisions…Like Batman the Bold and the Brave (or beautiful or whatever) Where they used batman as a vehicle for bad animation and an excuse to get crappy B actors into voice roles, it’s so bad it’s almost as if they did it just to spite actual fans.